Last day before meditation in a room that I'll have to leave at 5AM, because I came in at that time and it's a 24hours policy. Will finish my night on their sofas. My allergy towards India was reawaken since the crazy train night and coming to yet another disgusting big city of India. Trying really hard to find love for this country, but the only good thing it does is to challenge my comfort zone with it's numerous beggars, in-existing waiting lines, dirt, spitting, messy crowds, incoherent traffic, etc. I can just see/smell/hear/touch/taste death and pain everywhere, but when I surrender for a short time from the grip of fear, I can feel the the kindness in people's eyes and hearts.
India is like a big family where most members have money issues, low scholarity and poor hygiene. I look back to the values and regular reactions back in Canada and I find that the system in place there eradicated(and still is) the very hard reality of lower classes. But India is so big and so open-hearted that it accepted everybody in the past, just to build the corrupt result like an overfilled "pinata" ready to blow. India definitely has the most available handwork and they're ready to do anything for a "backseesh" or an opportunity for a better life.
I spent New Year in my room alone watching the end of Terminator 1 and devouring the pages of Shantaram, smoking like a chimney. This is mostly because I felt tired and my self-esteem a little hurt after being hustled by a beggar and lost 300 ruppies. In the end, it was all meant to be and I understand it fully, but it was a pretty sad New Year. Today I had the opportunity to go out with a very cool India girl that also writes. It was great because we spent most of the time together in a shopping mall that looks like a much smaller(not saying to brag, just as comparison) version of "Carrefour de Laval" and much more crowded. The top of the day was eating at a cool restaurant for less than 15$ for both, trying at least 10 different types of food. It was a great booster for my mood after the last 2 days, especially with not smoking which unleashes the salvage inner wolf.
My regular dirty room is filled with mosquitoes and I decided to take some of my anger on them, leaving about 50 soulless fly bodies in my room. I mean, they look for it, they know it's the risk they take to taste my blood and they willingly took it. The funny part is that I sleep with a mosquito net, so except from 2-3 bites, they will die of hunger or by my fist. This made me realize that, same as the mosquitoes, all these people accept their lack of possibilities and are ready to die of hunger. Who am I to impose my ways, it's pure freedom after all, isn't it?
And this is what my inner wolf feels like, I think to myself re-reading the last paragraphs, feels good to release the anger created by the comfort zone blowing into pieces. Will sleep like a baby and will have 10 days to reflect to deeper subjects.
Namaste for putting the stones in front of my shoes and open a path...
P.S. Added pictures yesterday since my sim-card finally was understood by a computer:
http://picasaweb.google.com/braikoff/20111221_20111227_Palolem
http://picasaweb.google.com/braikoff/20111227_20111230_Humpi
http://picasaweb.google.com/braikoff/20111231_201201xx_Chennai
India is like a big family where most members have money issues, low scholarity and poor hygiene. I look back to the values and regular reactions back in Canada and I find that the system in place there eradicated(and still is) the very hard reality of lower classes. But India is so big and so open-hearted that it accepted everybody in the past, just to build the corrupt result like an overfilled "pinata" ready to blow. India definitely has the most available handwork and they're ready to do anything for a "backseesh" or an opportunity for a better life.
I spent New Year in my room alone watching the end of Terminator 1 and devouring the pages of Shantaram, smoking like a chimney. This is mostly because I felt tired and my self-esteem a little hurt after being hustled by a beggar and lost 300 ruppies. In the end, it was all meant to be and I understand it fully, but it was a pretty sad New Year. Today I had the opportunity to go out with a very cool India girl that also writes. It was great because we spent most of the time together in a shopping mall that looks like a much smaller(not saying to brag, just as comparison) version of "Carrefour de Laval" and much more crowded. The top of the day was eating at a cool restaurant for less than 15$ for both, trying at least 10 different types of food. It was a great booster for my mood after the last 2 days, especially with not smoking which unleashes the salvage inner wolf.
My regular dirty room is filled with mosquitoes and I decided to take some of my anger on them, leaving about 50 soulless fly bodies in my room. I mean, they look for it, they know it's the risk they take to taste my blood and they willingly took it. The funny part is that I sleep with a mosquito net, so except from 2-3 bites, they will die of hunger or by my fist. This made me realize that, same as the mosquitoes, all these people accept their lack of possibilities and are ready to die of hunger. Who am I to impose my ways, it's pure freedom after all, isn't it?
And this is what my inner wolf feels like, I think to myself re-reading the last paragraphs, feels good to release the anger created by the comfort zone blowing into pieces. Will sleep like a baby and will have 10 days to reflect to deeper subjects.
Namaste for putting the stones in front of my shoes and open a path...
P.S. Added pictures yesterday since my sim-card finally was understood by a computer:
http://picasaweb.google.com/braikoff/20111221_20111227_Palolem
http://picasaweb.google.com/braikoff/20111227_20111230_Humpi
http://picasaweb.google.com/braikoff/20111231_201201xx_Chennai
Hola Gitanito,
ReplyDeleteEspero puedas leerme antes de partir hacia la meditation,estoy segura descubriras infinidades de ti y a la vez de los demas, te diste la oportunidad de hacerlo y me siento sinceramente muy contenta por ti.
Amor para ti y Paz...
Enjoying the blog and your adventures while holding down your fort in MTL. GOod news - Nothings burned down yet!!! Ha - Torch(Mark)
ReplyDelete