When my eyes opened that morning I would have never imagined all the places I would go inside and how much I would relive, hurt and heal all at once.
I'll try and share some things with you if you have the patience, but first, France and probably Europe is on the downward spiral.
The main reason is that the "Parisians" have lost their arrogant wit, only empty eyes filled with lost dreams and hopes. Everybody is grumpy, complains have filled the streets and it seems like it's the place where giving up won the battle. I might be responsible for part of it, since there's a chance that a little devilish cold sneaked into my jacket and release itself here in order to have the chilly 5 degrees today.
The second reason why France seems to get worst jump to my eyes during the experience of closing an old account. But first, I felt like a king when opening it, because it was zen, professional and they even served complimentary coffee. I was speechless and was starting to judge unattractive Canadian system back then. Now for closing the account, the lady had booked 2 of us(clients) at the same time, the place was a mess and I felt like a huge burden. I know closing and opening accounts are not the same operation, BUT it was ridiculous, I mean come on guys it's your fudging job and it's pretty fudging easy. I felt worst than a bank robber. Eventually I got out and swear not to open an account there again. Take that CIC next to Arc de Triomphe.
By the way, the positively amazing thing here is the price of Internet and cell phones. With Free, you can have a full month of unlimited talk, txt and some data for 20euros. Same with home Internet that you could use pretty much everywhere. Home phones come with free international calls...WTF happened to Canada and US?
Let's start with the loop story, right now is 15h and I'm having a coffee(espresso) in front of Arc de Triomphe in order to get inspired. Its coldish, gray and about to rain, there a soothing electro music playing softly in the back giving my spirit a needed rest after all the emotions today.
This morning I was tired because of a couchsurfing amazing party yesterday night that went a little too well and since yesterday I indulged in food and rest, today I decided to walk from one side of Paris to the other in order to get to the bank and close my French account. It was a marvelous dramatic 3h30 during which I walked 20000 steps, so I'll take the metro back.
It started with finding beauty around, like architecture, which is absolutely impressive, then it went to just observing without judging the grumpy people, which are very friendly if you ask them anything with a big smile. They're great people under great pressure, especially in Paris where everything gets lesser for bigger costs. It really hit and grow inside me more and more with every step that took me to the heart of Paris, the place that was my cavern for a full year. All the senses got involved, the perfect taste of the super falafel near my ex-house, the smell of crepes, the sound of impatience, the touch of the Notre Dame walls and the astonishing vision of a younger and more naive self exploring life.
I relived the beginning of a beautiful part of my life after not properly have healed an old relation. I adopted the rebound lifestyle for letting it go on for so long. I just needed a lot of fun and a direction to my new single life, just to fall into the same pattern. Have you ever put a bandaid on an uncleaned wound? How did the healing process go?...Eventually you have to clean deeper...and I think it's part of what happened today.
Life is like this blog, all about choices in the making and I don't regret any of my choices, I just wished I was more honest and direct with them. Deep inside, we all know what we want and we make sacrifices to "protect" others, who in the end will see(or not) our good intentions. I really believe that we all have good intentions, we just end up expressing the love in the wrong way...or simply said: We do the wrong things for the right reasons. Can you remember one thing that you did and really hurt someone you love?
When I got the real heart of the starting feeling, which was on Ile St-Luis on the bench where I met Gemelo, Anabel and Pilar that completely changed my life, there was this soft ray of sun that come at the same time when the wind came to a complete stop and birds were playing with the furious water. It was the same spot where one night a broken heart got a bandaid. I was disoriented hurt and alone in a stranger world.Everything was collapsing and those "strangers" help me grow a new world with a new vision. All those memories rushed in and my legs abandoned me at the same time that tears rushed to my eyes. All that beauty triggered intense feelings and all I could do was to observe in a moment that took decades. There was nothing, no sweat, no discomfort, no pain just air coming softly into my lungs and feelings. There was this great weight on my chest that I couldn't completely remove. Eventually I snapped out and found a napkin to wipe the feeling essence of my cheeks. At that precise moment, something inside "healed" and I never felt so good before. I remember walking and laughing to myself for a little while.
That day ended extremely well,walking around my memories, closing the bank account and walking for free on the famous Arc the Triomphe with my journalist papers.
That same night, I dropped into bed and fall deep, deep, deep into the rabbit's hole. It was so deep, that my memory of those mindless dreams stayed at the bottom.
Next day I took my tired feet, had lunch with an old friend and visited 2 more unseen museums. Napoleon's tomb which by its "show-off"ness gives away a man huge complex and determination. I cannot do anything but wonder how many lives were sacrificed so that man can have a grandiose final rest. Then visited the naked body art exposition at Muse d'Orsay which would made me think about the utility of our perfect machine and the protection we surround it with.
One huge thing was also the soup of my heart. The Kimchi lamen in my favorite restorant near the Louvre. It didn't had the same taste but the memories came just in time and were pleasant copany. One last thing was going to the Decathlon and getting a new version of the polar that costed 4euros 4 years ago and was an amazing protection during ALL my travels since. I got the black version for 8 euros and told the cashier to throw the old tired one away.
And that's how, like a magician playing with big rings, I closed the loop, relived and finally released the past and now ready for the future.
I lived more in the last 4 days than in the last 8 months.
Live, love and learn
Let's start with the loop story, right now is 15h and I'm having a coffee(espresso) in front of Arc de Triomphe in order to get inspired. Its coldish, gray and about to rain, there a soothing electro music playing softly in the back giving my spirit a needed rest after all the emotions today.
This morning I was tired because of a couchsurfing amazing party yesterday night that went a little too well and since yesterday I indulged in food and rest, today I decided to walk from one side of Paris to the other in order to get to the bank and close my French account. It was a marvelous dramatic 3h30 during which I walked 20000 steps, so I'll take the metro back.
It started with finding beauty around, like architecture, which is absolutely impressive, then it went to just observing without judging the grumpy people, which are very friendly if you ask them anything with a big smile. They're great people under great pressure, especially in Paris where everything gets lesser for bigger costs. It really hit and grow inside me more and more with every step that took me to the heart of Paris, the place that was my cavern for a full year. All the senses got involved, the perfect taste of the super falafel near my ex-house, the smell of crepes, the sound of impatience, the touch of the Notre Dame walls and the astonishing vision of a younger and more naive self exploring life.
I relived the beginning of a beautiful part of my life after not properly have healed an old relation. I adopted the rebound lifestyle for letting it go on for so long. I just needed a lot of fun and a direction to my new single life, just to fall into the same pattern. Have you ever put a bandaid on an uncleaned wound? How did the healing process go?...Eventually you have to clean deeper...and I think it's part of what happened today.
Life is like this blog, all about choices in the making and I don't regret any of my choices, I just wished I was more honest and direct with them. Deep inside, we all know what we want and we make sacrifices to "protect" others, who in the end will see(or not) our good intentions. I really believe that we all have good intentions, we just end up expressing the love in the wrong way...or simply said: We do the wrong things for the right reasons. Can you remember one thing that you did and really hurt someone you love?
When I got the real heart of the starting feeling, which was on Ile St-Luis on the bench where I met Gemelo, Anabel and Pilar that completely changed my life, there was this soft ray of sun that come at the same time when the wind came to a complete stop and birds were playing with the furious water. It was the same spot where one night a broken heart got a bandaid. I was disoriented hurt and alone in a stranger world.Everything was collapsing and those "strangers" help me grow a new world with a new vision. All those memories rushed in and my legs abandoned me at the same time that tears rushed to my eyes. All that beauty triggered intense feelings and all I could do was to observe in a moment that took decades. There was nothing, no sweat, no discomfort, no pain just air coming softly into my lungs and feelings. There was this great weight on my chest that I couldn't completely remove. Eventually I snapped out and found a napkin to wipe the feeling essence of my cheeks. At that precise moment, something inside "healed" and I never felt so good before. I remember walking and laughing to myself for a little while.
That day ended extremely well,walking around my memories, closing the bank account and walking for free on the famous Arc the Triomphe with my journalist papers.
That same night, I dropped into bed and fall deep, deep, deep into the rabbit's hole. It was so deep, that my memory of those mindless dreams stayed at the bottom.
Next day I took my tired feet, had lunch with an old friend and visited 2 more unseen museums. Napoleon's tomb which by its "show-off"ness gives away a man huge complex and determination. I cannot do anything but wonder how many lives were sacrificed so that man can have a grandiose final rest. Then visited the naked body art exposition at Muse d'Orsay which would made me think about the utility of our perfect machine and the protection we surround it with.
One huge thing was also the soup of my heart. The Kimchi lamen in my favorite restorant near the Louvre. It didn't had the same taste but the memories came just in time and were pleasant copany. One last thing was going to the Decathlon and getting a new version of the polar that costed 4euros 4 years ago and was an amazing protection during ALL my travels since. I got the black version for 8 euros and told the cashier to throw the old tired one away.
And that's how, like a magician playing with big rings, I closed the loop, relived and finally released the past and now ready for the future.
I lived more in the last 4 days than in the last 8 months.
Live, love and learn
Wow I am so happy for you. You faced your past and it set you free and left your heart open and smiling! :) Feels like rebirth, eh? You might have the free space for all the joy that life can offer, be aware!
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